Saturday, July 16, 2011
DR SHE BLOGGO: Liz Lemon and Leslie Knope: Post-Modernism and the...
DR SHE BLOGGO: Liz Lemon and Leslie Knope: Post-Modernism and the...: "Since “30 Rock” premiered on NBC in 2006, its lead character, Liz Lemon, has been widely regarded as a feminist icon - a working gal who jus..."
Friday, July 15, 2011
that time i couldn't accept a perfectly nice invitation to a perfectly nice time with perfectly nice people.
"i'm having a party later tonight, if you wanna come."
"yeah?"
"yeah, i just decided. right now."
"did you?"
"yeah, just gonna have a couple of people over. you're welcome to come over if you want."
"thanks, but i probably, i just, is it gonna be like a... thing"
"what?"
"like, it's gonna be a party right, with those people that you all know?"
"what?"
"i'm just bad at going to things where people i know will be."
"good job, coming here then."
"no, i mean. i don't know. i've been to those things, and everyone knows each other, and i don't drink, and i dunno, i just don't fit in."
"bring two friends! sit and talk to them."
"i'm socially stunted."
"okay."
"anyways, it was nice seeing you."
"you too."
"i'm so weird."
"we all are."
"yeah?"
"yeah, i just decided. right now."
"did you?"
"yeah, just gonna have a couple of people over. you're welcome to come over if you want."
"thanks, but i probably, i just, is it gonna be like a... thing"
"what?"
"like, it's gonna be a party right, with those people that you all know?"
"what?"
"i'm just bad at going to things where people i know will be."
"good job, coming here then."
"no, i mean. i don't know. i've been to those things, and everyone knows each other, and i don't drink, and i dunno, i just don't fit in."
"bring two friends! sit and talk to them."
"i'm socially stunted."
"okay."
"anyways, it was nice seeing you."
"you too."
"i'm so weird."
"we all are."
on cheating (not as immoral, but rather, as a luxury some can't afford)
"listen. but, okay, listen. so X? cheats on her boyfriend."
"oh."
"yeah."
"oh."
"but like, i don't know. she's still with him, even though they've got the long distance thing going, but she cheats on him all the time."
"oh."
"yeah."
"no, but okay, here's the thing. this is the thing. i hear this shit all the time from my friends in couples. and the thing is, i think it just comes down to confidence. like, i have people all the time cheating on each other, or breaking up, or even wanting just, "a break" and crying and whining, and i'm always like, "if it doesn't feel good, don't do it" and they're always like looking back on you, with this sort of, judgmental look. like, i have no fucking clue what i'm talking about because, well, frankly, i don't."
"YEAH, RIGHT?! i have NO experience to back myself up here."
"right. so supposedly we don't, 'know' or whatever. but the thing is, i think the difference is that these people wouldn't care as much as we do. and i know that sounds condescending, but i really think it's because... well.., they see relationships, and sex, as attainable. something they'll always have access to. that's just it. they know they can get someone else, so they're not so worried about fucking up whatever's going on now. no, but wait. no, i know that sounds like they're not capable of real feelings or anything, but i mean, that's why when they're all like crying and shit going on and on about how they really did love the person they cheated on, i make that gross face. not because i don't believe that's possible. maybe they really did love them. but if they still wanted to be around that person, they wouldn't have taken active steps to push them away. the subconscious is screaming here. so the reason we don't get it, is because we don't even think that shit exists. and once we found it? we would hold on to it like a motherfucker. we would treat it like a precious fucking gem, and be the most abnormally functional about it. we wouldn't do anything to fuck it up, (and that might fuck it up regardless), but the difference between us and them is that fucking up isn't even an option, because who knows when the fuck someone else will care about us again?"
"oh."
"yeah."
"oh."
"but like, i don't know. she's still with him, even though they've got the long distance thing going, but she cheats on him all the time."
"oh."
"yeah."
"no, but okay, here's the thing. this is the thing. i hear this shit all the time from my friends in couples. and the thing is, i think it just comes down to confidence. like, i have people all the time cheating on each other, or breaking up, or even wanting just, "a break" and crying and whining, and i'm always like, "if it doesn't feel good, don't do it" and they're always like looking back on you, with this sort of, judgmental look. like, i have no fucking clue what i'm talking about because, well, frankly, i don't."
"YEAH, RIGHT?! i have NO experience to back myself up here."
"right. so supposedly we don't, 'know' or whatever. but the thing is, i think the difference is that these people wouldn't care as much as we do. and i know that sounds condescending, but i really think it's because... well.., they see relationships, and sex, as attainable. something they'll always have access to. that's just it. they know they can get someone else, so they're not so worried about fucking up whatever's going on now. no, but wait. no, i know that sounds like they're not capable of real feelings or anything, but i mean, that's why when they're all like crying and shit going on and on about how they really did love the person they cheated on, i make that gross face. not because i don't believe that's possible. maybe they really did love them. but if they still wanted to be around that person, they wouldn't have taken active steps to push them away. the subconscious is screaming here. so the reason we don't get it, is because we don't even think that shit exists. and once we found it? we would hold on to it like a motherfucker. we would treat it like a precious fucking gem, and be the most abnormally functional about it. we wouldn't do anything to fuck it up, (and that might fuck it up regardless), but the difference between us and them is that fucking up isn't even an option, because who knows when the fuck someone else will care about us again?"
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
this is an amazing book.
"Oh, don't you know?" She brought his hand gentle up her hip and round to the flat of her abdomen, where she pressed it close again. "Don't you know? You're the most valuable and wonderful thing in the world. You're a man."
- Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
- Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
Thursday, July 7, 2011
on my understanding of marriage.
"then the fight went out of control. it quivered their arms and legs and wrenched their faces into shapes of hatred, it urged them harder and deeper into each other's weakest points, showing them cunning ways around each other's strongholds and quick chances to switch tactics, feint, and strike again. In the space of a gasp for breath it sent their memories racing back over the years for old weapons to rip the scabs off old wounds; it went on and on."
- Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
- Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
Sunday, July 3, 2011
in my life.
i should really try to write it down. it's been a bit silly in a gloriously young kind of way. i'd like to keep track of it for you, geographically, and with a specifically outlined timeline, but the days have sort of blurred into one. and i'm not sure who i'm supposed to blame that on. summer, the drugs, myself? the blame game.
experienced an intensely terrible identity crisis, sitting in the middle of a muslim wedding. but eventually a nice boy came and sat down with me, and we participated in great degrees of polite small talk until he very blatantly said. "you're bored aren't you?" "what, no, no! this is fun." how horribly transparent could i have possibly been? i don't like to open my mouth in that company. it's amazing, really. i can dazzle a group of like-minded white folk, but the people of my own country will never get to see the levels of my wit. which, i think, is maybe where the anxiety tears bubbled from.
and let's not forget the day of walks, conversation, brie-sandwich's (oh my god), coffee, and bookstores. no, we will never forget that. that is why we do all the other stuff.
yesterday nancy said, "you're so great - if you didn't exist, we would have to invent you."
and well, yeah. the drugs. there's been so much of it. there was late night italian dinners, and being the last table to leave the restaurant. it was there in parks at midnight, in cars, and on the highway as we drove past. it was there behind synagogues, and sitting side by side on a bench, with a pipe. it was there with nancy wilson in the car, at bbqs and burgers. One turned into four, and suddenly i'm stumbling down the mountain, only to re-position myself on a balcony in somebody's apartment on st-catherine. which is dizzyingly close to reality, and yet not. it was there with the four of us, next to the whisky and cigars, one-ish, two, three, later. we arrive at last night. it was there twice in the garden, as i played a round of crochet. and another time as i serenaded our beatles rock band.
but it was most potent, and most awake, as i stumbled home, through the rich-kids mansions, and it was night, it was dark but there was fog, and street lights. and he sped up on his bike, and i said, "bye, get home safe!" and he waved, and i saw his figure pull himself up onto the bike, and he dissolved into a surprising detail in the glowing fog. he became smaller and smaller, but it was there.
experienced an intensely terrible identity crisis, sitting in the middle of a muslim wedding. but eventually a nice boy came and sat down with me, and we participated in great degrees of polite small talk until he very blatantly said. "you're bored aren't you?" "what, no, no! this is fun." how horribly transparent could i have possibly been? i don't like to open my mouth in that company. it's amazing, really. i can dazzle a group of like-minded white folk, but the people of my own country will never get to see the levels of my wit. which, i think, is maybe where the anxiety tears bubbled from.
and let's not forget the day of walks, conversation, brie-sandwich's (oh my god), coffee, and bookstores. no, we will never forget that. that is why we do all the other stuff.
yesterday nancy said, "you're so great - if you didn't exist, we would have to invent you."
and well, yeah. the drugs. there's been so much of it. there was late night italian dinners, and being the last table to leave the restaurant. it was there in parks at midnight, in cars, and on the highway as we drove past. it was there behind synagogues, and sitting side by side on a bench, with a pipe. it was there with nancy wilson in the car, at bbqs and burgers. One turned into four, and suddenly i'm stumbling down the mountain, only to re-position myself on a balcony in somebody's apartment on st-catherine. which is dizzyingly close to reality, and yet not. it was there with the four of us, next to the whisky and cigars, one-ish, two, three, later. we arrive at last night. it was there twice in the garden, as i played a round of crochet. and another time as i serenaded our beatles rock band.
but it was most potent, and most awake, as i stumbled home, through the rich-kids mansions, and it was night, it was dark but there was fog, and street lights. and he sped up on his bike, and i said, "bye, get home safe!" and he waved, and i saw his figure pull himself up onto the bike, and he dissolved into a surprising detail in the glowing fog. he became smaller and smaller, but it was there.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)